The Horse Trader's Son

Growing up the eldest son of a genuine horse trader (my Mom), I’ve accumulated a wealth of stories surrounding horses and horse people. Some are funny (at least in retrospect), and some are touching or poignant. Some of these stories are even true. Well, mostly true. Some of the names have been changed to protect the guilty, and to compensate for my failing memory. I certainly wouldn’t guarantee the historical accuracy of anything I say or write.

Update I should have done this before now, but the piano has been claimed. I thank the people who responded. Good luck to those of you still looking.

Anyone want a free upright piano?  All you have to do is get it out of my house.  It plays OK but needs to be tuned.

Email me at freepiano.10.jponiato@spamgourmet.com.  Or just leave a comment here and I’ll get in touch with you.

 

Living on a farm, you get used to having to fix stuff from time to time.  Fences need mending, tractors and hay equipment need maintenance, plus the normal household items that need attention periodically.

Lately however we’ve been going through a rash of failures.  The electric fence charger, my son’s Silverado, our furnace, the wheel-horse mower, even the relatively new 360-degree mower all failed more or less simultaneously.

I’m normally fairly handy, but most of these failures proved resistant to my run-of-the-mill diagnostic efforts.  With the furnace, the problem is usually either the little vacuum pressure sensor or pre-circulation fan.  These were fine.  No ignition, although the circuit to the igniter was getting the full voltage, so I replaced the igniter.  Still no ignition.  Turns out there is a”limiter” switch on the side of the firebox that had to be reset, but I didn’t discover that until about my 5th day into the project.  My regular furnace guy (Ron Chevrette – great guy) was out of State.  Fortunately we’ve been facing moderate temperatures lately.

When a vehicle turns over but won’t start, you start looking for either the lack of fuel or the lack of spark.  I start by shooting a little starting fluid into the carb.  If that works, then I assume lack of fuel is the problem.  That didn’t work.  Spark check revealed that I wasn’t getting any spark.  But, since I had the services of my buddy Tim, who is a trained mechanic, we took a look at the injectors too.  Guess what?  No spark and no fuel injection! Called another mechanic friend – no idea what single component could fail to cause both a lack of spark and fuel.  A search through some Internet forums has me leaning toward an ignition module.  We’ll work on it again tonight.

The 360 degree mower was an easy fix – something was caught up in a belt or something – all I did was spin the motor by hand backwards, something came free, and now it starts and runs fine.  The Wheel Horse is a different matter.  The starter is supposed to “throw out” a bendix, which engages the flywheel and starts the engine.  It doesn’t throw out.  Fully charged the battery, even hooked up jumper cables from the truck, no go.  Replaced the starter, the new one does the exact same thing.  Note that they both work on the bench, but won’t throw out when installed in the mower.  Can’t find a short in the wiring, already cleaned the ground connections.  I’m still stuck for the answer to this one.

The usual suspects on fence chargers are either broken wires hitting the ground somewhere, or the capacitor (which is exactly the same as a flasher unit from a car).  The capacitor is working fine.  My wife and I walked the entire length and width of the pasture multiple times over the course of 2 weeks.  We cut down any weeds that even looked like they wanted to touch the wire.  We replaced rusty sections of the fence.  No matter what we did, the horses leaned into the wire, knocked down fence boards, broke down posts, and basically ignored the electric fence as if it weren’t there at all.

I had a short section of insulated wire that ran underground from the barn to the fence itself.  Turns out that was shorting through the insulation directly to ground.  Finally, one more problem resolved.

The one good thing is that I’ve been able to order parts cheaply on Amazon Parts Finder. I’ve saved quite a bit on the parts for the furnace, the starter for the Wheel Horse, and shocks and struts for my wife’s Saturn Vue. Yes, this is an affiliate link, but I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.

 

Well, after signing up for the Michigan Warrior Dash about 6 weeks ago, I thought I’d give an update on my progress toward my goal of even being able to finish “3.3 hellish miles.”  Most of my work has been with our new treadmill, a Gold’s Gym 480 Trainer from Walmart (click the link to see my review of this treadmill).

The treadmill has 8 pre-set workouts.  1-4 are “weight loss” workouts, 5-8 are “performance” workouts, designed to improve cardio-vascular fitness.  Since I was less concerned about weight-loss, I decided to start with #5, the easiest of the performance workouts.  ”Easiest” is a relative term, as I could not even complete this one.  After 14 minutes (all the workouts are 30 minutes in length) I had to cancel the workout and drop to manual mode, where I finished at a relatively easy pace of 3.4 miles per hour with no incline.

After that, I started working through the weight loss workouts, starting at number 1, which was easy.  The weight-loss workouts implement a pair of 1 lb dumbbells, and the treadmill signals you when to pick them up and when to put them down.  A few days later I completed #2, also fairly easy.   After a few more days (my schedule is to train 3 days per week) I completed workout #3, which was a little challenging but presented no trouble.  Finally, I got to #4, which completely kicked my butt, but I was able to finish it.  I decided to stick with this one for a while.

After about a month on number 4, I’ve noticed definite improvements.  I can finish the workout now without being completely wiped out.  The top speed on this workout is 4 mph, so I’ve started adding a few minutes at a medium jog (for me) of 7 mph, and can get through about 1/3 mile at this pace.  I’ve also lost nearly 5 lbs, going from 114 to 109 with no other conscientious changes in diet or lifestyle.  I’m almost ready to try to tackle workout #5 again, although I’m almost dreading that.

I still can’t climb the rope in the barn straight up, but I can use it to climb into the hay loft “batman” style, by walking up the stall wall.  I haven’t been able to climb a rope free-style since high school, but hope to achieve this goal by July.  We’ll see.

Why am I doing this?  For the beer.  And the viking helmet.  And the glory.  But mostly for the beer.

Every year we tell ourselves that this is the year we get back in shape.  This year we’ll start working out again, start running / walking / swimming – whatever we do for exercise – again.  For me it’s usually “this is the year I get back into Karate.”

Most of the time we start the year out with good intentions, but for many (myself included) life seems to get in the way.  The pressures of work, kids going to away to college, events at the high school, getting the hay crop in before it rains, etc.  There just always seems to be something competing for my time, and after dealing with these things every day, who has the energy to work out?

Well, this

Workshop 808
February 25–26, 2011 – Kettunen Center
Explore animal systems and learn about animal health for a broad array of animal species by sharing information and experiences, asking questions and quizzing veterinarians about their skills. You can also participate in hands-on demonstrations that teach you how to help young people recognize healthy, sick or injured animals. Meet others who have developed outstanding veterinary science projects and gain ideas to help other young people start their own vet science projects. Open to adult and teen volunteers aged 13 and older. The flyer is at http://web2.msue.msu.edu/4hwkreg/documents/PA-808.pdf. Contact Heidi or Darren at 810-244-8500 to register.

When I was a kid, my family boarded horses, and at any given time we’d have 20 to 30 roaming the pastures. Occasionally someone would leave a gate open, or some section of fencing would fall down, and the horses would get out. Not as serious of an ordeal as it would be these days, since we were mostly bordered by other property. One edge of our pasture though was adjacent to a lake, and there was a gate there that some inconsiderate person left open one winter day.
Well, the horses all got out, and for some strange reason, they wandered out onto the ice. Maybe they thought the ice-fishermen had some tasty treats for them, who knows. Anyway, my brothers and I were sent to bring them home. We didn’t have any problems catching them, and we were doing fine leading 4 of them while the others followed, but the ice started to crack.
It’s amazing how fast horses can move on ice, given that their hooves are prone to slip on the stuff. There was really just no slowing them down once they got it into their heads that we all needed to get off the ice pronto!  Stopping them was impossible.  Keeping up with them was, too.  That pretty much just left sliding on the ice while they pulled us along.  And that is how we invented horse-drawn ice skiing.

The Sparta Rodeo, for years the one annual event I and my comrades looked forward to all year long.  For one long weekend of rodeo, horseback riding, camping, carousing, and of course, drinking, we planned, saved, strategized,  and practiced.  Considering the fact that our families were not particularly well off, and my friends and I were basically broke teenagers, we tended to scimp on expenditures.  That’s why we couldn’t pass up this deal.  The man selling firewood said “All the wood you can carry from my truck to yours, for $3.00.”  So with a little support from my friend Phil, and recorded for posterity by my other friend Mike (see the Uncle Deano post below), I had the guy load me up.  Boy, I’d say we got the best of this deal!

Horse traders are not generally known for their honesty.  In fact, they have a reputation for being low-down liars, cheats, and thieves (my Mom excluded).  I once new a horse trader who took a bet that he could not sell a horse that he absolutely guaranteed would not hurt anyone.  He led the challenger (and a bunch of us on-lookers) into the barn and showed us a horse that he in fact could guarantee wouldn’t hurt anyone.  He won the bet, because the horse in the barn was dead as a doornail, having passed away in the night.  While he may have won the wager, he didn’t do anything to improve his reputation, or that of horse traders in general.

Which is why I was so surprised to see this Craigslist ad for a horse for sale (text copied from the original ad):

Big grade gelding. Been used as a pickup horse until he got hooked by a bull. Think he has a split personality, some days he’s great, some days he’s a real prick. No secrets here, you need to tranq him to shoe him or he will try and kick your head off. He has been used for branding, moving cows, ranch roping ect. And like I said, some days he is great, we have had beginner riders on him and they have done fine, I have ridden him in the hills or gathered on him and he was fine,He is not great to catch, although we have him turmed out on 140 acres so he can leave if he wants, but in a smaller pen he is much better. he just needs someone that isnt going to take his shit on a regular basis. He needs to be taken and used. If you are looking for a horse that you can ride twice a year, well then this is not the horse for you., But if you use your horse as often as you change your pants then he will probably suit you perfect. We bought him with the intention of selling him and because we have more than enough horses he has gone to the bottom of the priority barrel. He is not a horse for the faint hearted, if you are handy and need a project or if you think you are handy and need to try and prove it. Please call 406-239-8634. I think he is about 11 years old. 15.3 hands. Anwsers to the name of Dick. Ok, he doesn’t anwser, thats just what I call him. $2,500 obo.

You have to give this guy credit, he tells it like it is.  What a refreshing change of pace!

The weather is a bit brisk in the mornings, but absolutely gorgeous the rest of the day.  Most of the bugs are gone.  The leaves are beginning to turn the brilliant reds and golds that create the fabulous color tours for which Michigan is famous.  It’s the best time of year for horseback riding.

The only thing wrong with this time of year is the fact that it is so fleeting.  The temperature gets colder.  The water troughs freeze.  And all those beautiful leaves turn brown and fall to the ground.

I watch other people – particularly those living in neighborhoods – struggle against the inevitable.  Every day they rake and bag or burn.  For what?  The next day there’s another layer of leaves covering their yard.  This goes on for weeks.

Some people take an easier approach.  They just run over the leaves with a mulching mower – preferably a riding mower.  Suffering from a slight case of chronic laziness, I tend to favor this tactic.  Besides, it’s “earth friendly.”

Still, I observe the futility of some of my neighbors, as they struggle in vain to keep their lawns looking neat and tidy throughout the season.  Folks, they call it “Fall” for a reason!  I was so moved by their untiring efforts that I wrote a little ditty in their honor.  It’s called Rakin’ the Yard, and it’s sung to the tune of the Rawhide! theme song.  Please check out Rakin’ the Yard on Authspot, where it’s been published.  Be sure to leave a comment, letting me know you were there.

Well, one of the two yearlings we had for sale on our Horses For Sale page has been snapped up. A young lady took a look at Lonestar’s picture, came out to see him a few days later, and picked him up today.  Proof that good matches between horses and owners can be made over the Internet.